More Lawyer Gaffes #12 is this week’s Mystery Question. I honestly have no idea how long this series can go–who would’ve thought lawyers would give me so many questions?
But first, the photo and verse. I hadn’t planned on sharing any more magnolia photos, but this one practically dragged me to the tree. I thought it was so pretty…I call it my One More Magnolia photo. And for some reason, the verse in Philippians just seemed to fit.
Now for last week’s Mystery Question–More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #11. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Lawyer: “Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?”
Witness: “Yes.”
Lawyer: “Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?”
Witness: “Yes, sir.”
Lawyer: “What did she say?”
Witness: “‘What disco am I at?’” - Lawyer: “Sir, what is your IQ?”
Witness: “Well, I can see pretty well, I think.” - Lawyer: “What happened then?”
Witness: “He told me, he says, ‘I have to kill you because you can identify me.’”
Lawyer: “Did he kill you?”
Witness: “No.” - Judge: “Do you want a bench trial or a jury trial?”
Defendant: “Jury trial.”
Judge: “Do you understand the difference?”
Defendant: “Sure. That’s where 12 ignorant people decide my fate instead of one.”
And the answer is…#4. Congrats on all who guessed correctly!
Now for this week’s Mystery Question–More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #12. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- LAWYER: Now sir, I’m sure you are an intelligent and honest man–
WITNESS: Thank you. If I weren’t under oath, I’d return the compliment. - LAWYER: Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?
WITNESS: The victim lived. - Lawyer: “Isn’t it a fact that you have been running around with another woman?”
Defendant: “Yes, but you can’t prove it!” - LAWYER: What is your brother-in-law’s name?
WITNESS: Borofkin.
LAWYER: What’s his first name?
WITNESS: I can’t remember.
LAWYER: He’s been your brother-in-law for years, and you can’t remember his first name?
WITNESS: No. I tell you, I’m too excited. (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) Nathan, for heaven’s sake, tell them your first name!
Okay, Super Sleuths, which one isn’t true? Leave your answers in the comments and I’ll enter you in a drawing for a book from my library!
This is one of my favorite hyms…but then aren’t they all? 🙂
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Comments 48
#4
I love the beautiful magnolias! You can’t post too many for me!!
Author
Hi Charlotte! And thank you for the lovely thank-you note! I love magnolias too as long as the trees belong to someone else–they are a pain to clean up after. lol We’ll see next week if it’s #4.
#2
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We’ll see, Linda!
Like Charlotte I love the magnolias!
I’m not sure if it’s due to the fact that I have been awake since 1:00 but each of these made me laugh – I’m glad I was not drinking coffee.
Hard choice but I’ll guess#1
Author
So glad I made you laugh, and sorry you’ve been up since 1! We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
I am going with #3
Author
Hi Sharon! We’ll see if it’s #3 next week.
I’m going with #4.
Author
Hi, Diana! Number 4 is gaining votes…we’ll see next week.
I’m going w/ #1. They’re all delightful. I’d split a gut if I were in a court session and heard any of these. (Cue explosive laughter as in snorts . . .) I’m sure that happened for these true entries.
Author
So glad you enjoyed them, Delores! I would do the same thing if I heard one of these in court…we’ll see next week if it’s #1.
Love your magnolia, especially with the spill and the green leaf.
These were challenging again. I’m going with #4, but I also loved #1.
Author
Those are both popular answers, Barbara…we’ll see next week if it’s either…I’m glad you liked my photo. It was low on the tree so it was easy to snap.
One of the many needs God supplies is beauty. Your photo proves it, Pat. Good work, and a great compliment to that verse.
Where were these clowns when I had jury duty? You’d think they were trying out for a TV series on lawyers to avoid.
#1. I’m sure the judge split a gut with this one.
#2. Another high IQ attorney.
#3. They say confession is good for the soul, but maybe not for the pocketbook.
#4. Doesn’t this seem like a dumb question?
Why is the attorney even asking the question in #2? I’m going to say you made up #3 because it’s the only one that affects the witness.
Author
Hi Tim…glad you enjoyed my photo. We’ll see how your excellent logic turns out next week…
#1!
Author
We’ll see, Joy!
Beautiful bloom and a lovely verse. I think you made up #1 because the witness would be making himself look bad (look rude) in front of the court.
Author
Good logic, Priscilla…we’ll see next week if your logic or Tim’s or if either are correct. 🙂 Glad you liked my magnolia and verse.
I am guessing #1 this week.
Author
Number 1 is very popular, Gloria…we’ll see.
I’ll say #2
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Hi Martha! We’ll see next week…
#3
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Hi Patricia. We’ll see next week if it’s #3…
#3
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Number 3 is getting about as popular as #1, Barbie! We’ll see next week.
#3
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We’ll see, Mary!
Love the magnolia photo! This week I will guess #1.
Author
Hi Carolyn! We’ll see if it’s #1 next week…
Author
I love magnolias, Carolyn!
I will pick one. Love the Oak Ridge Boys!
S
Author
I love the Oak Ridge Boys, too, Judy! And we’ll see next week if it’s the popular #1…
Patricia, I love the close up of the Magnolia bloom and the detail of it. God’s beauty is amazing!
I literally laughed out loud when I read these, especially #4! I need to make a folder of these to save for when I need a good laugh. I’m going with #1 this week.
As far as I am concerned, you can share all the magnolia pictures you want to. Your choice of picture and verse all always good.
I’m still shaking my head. The witnesses are getting funnier all the time.
1. I hope the witness’s honesty doesn’t get him in a pickle.
2. Another astute witness. What other answer could there be to a question like that?
3. It sounds like the defendant is challenging the lawyer.
4. This one is believable. I can’t say I’ve heard of it happening in a trial, but I’ve heard other stories about momentary memory lapses like this.
I’m choosing #3. Two reasons: Lawyer and witness are in all caps in the other three. This one states Defendant rather than Witness. I think it’s the first time you’ve used a defendant.
Author
Wow, Edward! Great observation! Not sure if it’ll work for you since sometimes my lock-caps get stuck…But as always, I love your logiv!
I have to go with #1 this week, so funny!
Love the picture…one of the reasons that solidified my daughter on the purchase of her house was a big magnolia tree in the front yard. I also read a story about a woman that saved a wedding by allowing the bride to use magnolias to decorate the church when the florist fell through.
Author
Magnolia blossoms and leaves are so pretty, Gail. I used to make silk magnolias when that was all the rage. I wonder if handcrafts will make a comeback? I used to knit, too. And counted cross stitch…and pottery…so little time. We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
#2
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We’ll see, Caryl!
2
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We’ll see, BN!
#1
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We’ll see next week, Shelia!
I’m going to guess number 3.
Author
Hi Jean…we’ll see next week…