More Funny Lawyer Gaffes is the Mystery Question since everyone seemed to enjoy them. 😉 The only problem is, it’s going to be harder to make up something funny that a lawyer hasn’t said in court!
But first the photo. The redbuds are in bloom again, which only means warmer weather is on the way! By the way, are you getting AI suggestions every time you write something? It’s driving me crazy. AI is trying to make everyone sound the same. Grrr. Best that I focus on the Scripture verse in photo. 🙂 It’s one that I need to focus on, especially the “Wait for the Lord” part. I’m so impatient, I want everything yesterday.
Now for last week’s Mystery Question–Funny Lawyer Gaffes. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.|
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years. - Q: The new deputy DA handling a drunk driving case meant to ask the jaded expert witness about his qualifications. This is what he asked instead: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A. Yes.
Q. And how long have you been so qualified?
A. Since I was a baby. - Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
- Police officer on the witness stand:
Q. You testified that the defendant bit off the victim’s finger. Isn’t it true you were in your police vehicle and could not see the defendant bite off the victim’s finger?
A: Yes, I have to admit that is true.
Q: Therefore, how did you identify my client as the finger-biter?”
A. I saw him spit it out.
And the one I made up is…#4. Congrats to all the winners.
Now for this week’s Mystery Question–Funny Lawyer Gaffes. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Q. What gear were you in when you ran the red light?
A. Sweaty Bettys and Nike trainers. - Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you’ve forgotten? - Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan. - Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Okay, Super Sleuths, which one did I make up? Leave your answers in the comments and I’ll enter you in a March drawing for a book from my library.
More Funny Lawyer Gaffes is this week's Mystery Question. Three true ones, one made up--which one did I make up? Leave your answers in the blog comments. Share on XBe sure to watch for my newsletter this week! I’ll be posting about my writing journey, a jigsaw puzzle, books I’m reading and a recipe! If you’re not signed up to receive it, you can find the sign-up on my home page. Or there’s a place on the right side of the blog at the top. I’ll also be sharing the back cover copy of On the Edge of Trust.
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Comments 53
All funny – #3.
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Hi Mary! Sorry to be late but I went to the doctor with a friend and just now got to my computer! We’ll see next week if it’s #3. Glad you had a laugh this morning!
I’m going with #1.
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Hi Diana! We’ll see next week…
#2
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Oh, goodness, the answers are all over the board, Charlotte! We’ll see next week if it’s #2.
#4
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We’ll see, Linda!
I LOVE the photo, and those gaffs are priceless. I hope you made up #1, but they’re all believable. Jury members might spit out their false teeth laughing hearing some of those interchanges. Keep up the great work!
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I’ll bet more than one jury did that, Delores. I love these lawyer gaffs. We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
These are fun! I’m going with #2
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I’m glad you like them, Rosalyn! We’ll see next week if it’s #2.
You’re trying to kill me, Pat! I’m choking on my coffee again, SO FUNNY. I’m going with number 3 this time.
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I love having a good laugh first thing in the morning, so I thought y’all might, too, Priscilla. 😀 We’ll see next week if it’s #3.
To answer the Al question. YES! AI is interfering on almost everything I write. It changes my words, my meanings and many times it changes things after the post is sent! Personally, I. AM. NOT. a fan of AI!
Your redbuds are blooming and my Christmas cactus is blooming again! Crazy!
Going with #1
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Oh, wow, you Christmas Cactus is blooming?? I’ve got to remember to water mine. lol We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
Oh, I LOVE that photo!!! And like the verse says, sometimes we have to wait for the good things; like spring blossoms.
The AI that drives me most crazy is the Google voice to text translator. It gets so much wrong, and seems to have little understanding that proper nouns need to be capitalized. How hard is that? And my friends that use other translators tell me those are equally bad.
Some of those lawyers are just so smart. I’ll bet the judges have a hard time holding in their laughter.
#1. OK. This may be a reasonable response for some people more fashion than mechanically inclined.
#2. Definitely an Einstein asking the questions.
#3. I can see where the husband would be in big trouble here.
#4. These days, some people, well…
I think you made up #1, Pat.
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I agree about AI, Tim. And I’ll actually be doing a blog about it on Christians Read toward the end of the month. If I think of it, I’ll send out an email so you can check it out. 🙂 We’ll see if it’s #1 next week…and as always I love the way you reason them out…
I am guessing that you made up #3.
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Hi Gloria! We’ll see next week…
#4!
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We’ll see, Joy!
#4?
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Maybe? We’ll see next week…
I’m going to say #4, but I’m not at all convinced that is correct!
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Hi Rick! We’ll see…you’re not a lawyer are you…
Love the picture and verse. I am going with number 1. They are all good,
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Thank you, Sharon. Glad you liked them. We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
I will pick three.
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We’ll see, Judy…
#2
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We’ll see, Patricia…
Omg haha
I’m going with #2
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So glad I gave you a laugh today, Hannah. 😀 We’ll see next week if it’s #2.
Beautiful picture. I haven’t seen an rosebuds blooming but the forsythia bushes are blooming all over our neighborhood. When I saw them today, I was reminded that it won’t be long until everything is covered in yellow from the pollen. Now that is one thing I would certainly have no problem waiting on the Lord for. Many other things, not so much.
1. I think I would have told the lawyer I was in reverse, or maybe park. LOL!
2. Was the lawyer messing with the witness? I thought myasthenia gravis affected the eyes. I just looked it up and read that it is a neuromuscular condition. It doesn’t mention memory loss. I think this one is made up.
3. Those sound like valid questions to me. I’m assuming that the witness did not respond well to the husband’s question.
4. Again, I think the line of questioning was appropriate these days when so many people claim to be something other than what they are. Or maybe the lawyer was trying to trip the witness up with a dumb question.
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I’m glad you enjoyed the photo and verse, Edward. I’m with you with the pollen…around here if you stand still for five minutes, you will soon be yellow! We’ll see next week if your logic pays off…
#2 is my guess
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We’ll see, Shelia!
Gorgeous photo, Pat!
#2
I have to go with #3
Lawyers can ask the dumbest questions!
Beautiful photo, the hope of spring.
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Hi Gail! While fall is my favorite season, after our recent winters, I’m loving spring! It does bring hope. Hope for farmers who plant and then wait for the rains and good weather, the budding trees, Easter and the Resurrection…
Evidently lawyers do say dumb things as evidence by the blog. lol We’ll see next week if I made up #3.
Gorgeous redbud! Waiting can be difficult and I, too, can get very impatient.
Thanks for sharing The Prayer by Celine Dion and Josh Groban! An absolutely beautiful song and a favorite of mine. It gives me chills every time I hear it.
All of these are funny and it’s hard to believe any of them are true! lol #1
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Around here Redbuds are usually the first to show signs of spring. They are so colorful. And I love The Prayer and think Celine Dion and Josh Groban do a great job. I can listen to it over and over.
I’m glad I made you laugh today. 🙂 We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
My guess is number 3 but I could see any of them actually happen. I love the verse and picture!
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Thanks, Carolyn! I’m glad you found them difficult to choose. lol
The photo is GORGEOUS! And the verse is so appropriate for it; I love it. All these choices seem too nonsensical to be real; so sad to realize most of them are. I’m gonna go with #2 today.
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Yeah, Diane…it doesn’t make for a lot of trust in attorneys. lol We’ll see next week if it’s #2. And I’m so glad you enjoyed the photo and verse!
2
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We’ll see, BN!
It’s scary that 3 of them are true! I’m picking #2, thanks to Edward’s research. 😉
I agree with you on the “rephrase” bubbles that pop up in MSWord. I’ve clicked on it a few times when it has suggested rephrasing due to passive voice and every suggestion it’s offered is also in passive voice! LOL so now I ignore it….need to google how to stop the thing from popping up!
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I know, it is scary, Sandra! 🙂 And funny. We’ll see next week if it’s #2. Good to ‘see’ you!
Good chuckles. I will guess #3.
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Glad I made you laugh, Paula! We’ll see…