More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #18 is this week’s Mystery Question. I just shake my head at what some lawyers, judges and witnesses say in court!
But first the photo and verse. It’s a sunset that I captured while at Dauphin Island. I meant to get a photo of the Buck Moon this month, but we’ve had clouds. I love sunsets, though, and this verse!
Now for last week’s Mystery Question–More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #17. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Lawyer: What do you do for a living?
Witness: I am a lawyer.
Lawyer: You, a lawyer? Why I could put you in my pocket.
Witness: Very likely you could, but if you did, you’d have more law in your pocket than you ever had in your head. - Lawyer: Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?
Judge: I do. - Lawyer: And you swear you were not drinking the night of the accident.
Witness: Depends on what you call drinking. I remember drinking a glass of water.
Lawyer: Did you or did you not drink three beers before the accident?
Witness: Nope. I had four. - Lawyer: Who was at fault for this accident?
Witness: As near as I could tell, they hit each other at about the same time.
And the answer is…#3. Congrats to all those who guessed correctly!
Now for this week’s Mystery Question–More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #18. Although these aren’t lawyer statements per se, they are funny. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Clerk: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
Client: No. - Attorney: If my client had only listened to my advice and let me do my job, he would have gone home three years earlier than he did.
- Judge: Sir, do you have any income?
Defendant: Yes, your Honor.
Judge: From what source do you have income?
Defendant: Selling marijuana, your Honor. - Attorney: Is there anything that would refresh your recollection as to whether or not you were experiencing any pain at the scene?
Client: A better memory.
Okay, Super Sleuths, which is the one that’s made up? Leave your answers in the comments, and I’ll enter you in a drawing for Elizabeth Goddard’s Storm Warning.
I wish I’d had this for the 4th! Thank you, Tim, for sharing it.
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Comments 64
My choice is # 1 I also love sunsets. I get some beautiful art work from God here in Las Vegas. Lately it’s been smoky, hard to breathe air. There’s fires in California and a fire in the Grand Canyon. Thank you for sharing the verse too. I’m not familiar with this one. DJ
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DJ, I love the way God paints the morning and evening skies! We’ll see if it’s #1 next week.
I’m also going with #1.
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Hi Diana…we’ll see…
My guess is #4 is false
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Hi Crystal…we’ll see next week…
My guess is number 1
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Hi Arlene! We’ll see next week if it’s #1…
I’m guessing number one.
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Goodness, Jean, #1 is getting a lot o action. We’ll see next week…
I can’t be sure, they’re all dillys. I think it’s either #1 or #4 this week but I’ll go w/ #1. If true, I would love to have been in court that day. Like where do you go from there?
Keep up the great work!
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Hi Delores…seems funny saying that when you’re sitting next to me. lol We’ll see next week…
I love that verse too! Okay, this week, I’m going with #4 because I can relate to the memory thing!
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Hi Priscilla. I do love that verse! Yeah…I relate to the memory thing too…we’ll see next week.
I love the photo and verse, Pat. Sometimes the weather doesn’t give us the shot we want, but sometimes the one we get is better.
Oh these quotes.
#1. Not well acquainted with the truth, especially when not in his favor.
#2. Super lawyer says it’s not my fault my client spent more time in prison.
#3. Easy conviction here.
#4. A practical witness.
These are all nuts. I think you made up #1 because the question is answered by a “client” rather than a “witness”. The term seems out of place in a court setting, which I assume this is.
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Tim, you are absolutely right about not getting the shot we want sometimes but getting a better one, and I love it when that happens. Thanks for the song today. We’ll see next week if you’re right…
Interesting clouds, Pat. They remind me of a quilted mattress cover which would make for a very comfy bed.
I love #3’s honesty about the marijuana! Ha
I was going with #1, first because of his honesty in saying no. I’ll be that was a shock to everyone. Tim’s point about swearing in a client instead of a witness also helped my decision.
These are certainly creative.
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That was what I thought, Barbara–a comforter. So you thought #3’s honesty was funny…we’ll see if my working was a red herring…
lol a comforter for you, too! Good minds think alike.
I like #4 for the made up one.
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Hi Paula! We’ll see if I made up #4 next week.
I will pic one. Thanks for reminding me of beautiful nature.
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Thanks, Judy! Number 1 is certainly popular. We’ll see next week.
Guessing #4
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Hi Gail,
We’ll see next week!
I’m guessing it’s #4
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Now number 4 is getting a lot of play. We’ll see next week…
I’ll go with #1.
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Hi Kelly V. We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
I am guessing #3 this week. Love the photo of the sky.
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Thanks, Gloria! We’ll see next week if it’s #3.
going with #1. Love the verse and picture. Used to sing the verse in church in the 70’s.
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Sharon, that’s one of my favorite verses, and we sing it sometimes at our church now. We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
#2
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We’ll see, Shelia.
My guess would be #1.
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That’s a very popular guess! We’ll see next week.
Probably #1, as I don’t think when on the stand, someone would be crazy enough to say that, but you never know.
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Hi Terri! I find it hard to believe anyone would do what the person in #1 did, but then I find the rest of them equally puzzling. lol We’ll see next week.
#3….?
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Hi Connie! It’s possible…we’ll see next week.
#2
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Hi, Mary. We’ll see…
#3 is my guess this week.
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Hi, Carolyn! We’ll see next week…
A very fitting verse to a lovely photo.
#1
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Thanks, Mary G. Love that verse. We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
#2
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We’ll see, Linda!
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Hi, Winnie! We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
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Hi, Winnie! We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
Interesting picture and a great verse.
I’m choosing #4. That response could apply to many, many witnesses.
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I agree, Edward…I’m having fun with these lawyer things. Next week I’ll be talking more about what lawyers say about their clients…
I believe #2 is the false one, because it sounds like a lawyer. #1 is pretty funny, but I can hear a defendant say,”No.”
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Hi Sunnymay! I’m glad you enjoyed them! We’ll see next week if it’s #2…
4
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We’ll see if it’s the popular #4 next week, BN.
I will say # 2.
Voting for false statement #3
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We’ll see next week, Dorothy… 😉
#4
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We’ll see, Caryl!
#3
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MS Barb, #3 isn’t that popular, but who knows…maybe you got it right…we’ll see next week…