More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #17 is this week’s Mystery Question. Can you believe that people took time to compile all these lawyer gaffes? I’m glad they did!
But first the photo and verse. This is another of Priscilla Bettis’s amazing photos of the night sky. It is Omega Centauri globular cluster as seen from her Texas backyard through a telescope. Here’s what she told me: With the naked eye, it just looks like one bright star, but it’s actually a “glob” of 10 MILLION stars. It’s 16,000 lightyears away. Omega Centauri is a southern hemisphere cluster, but if you live in the southern US, you can see it low on the horizon (about 8 degrees from the horizon). Next clear night, I’m going to look for it! And get me a telescope!
The verse is one I came across in my Jesus Calling devotion back in June, and this is the perfect photo for it.
Now for last week’s Mystery Question–More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #16. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Defendant: I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: Why is that?
Defendant: Because the public defender isn’t interested in my case.
Judge: Do you have any comment on the defendant’s motion?
Public Defender: I’m sorry your honor, I wasn’t listening. - Lawyer: “Isn’t it true that you were given $500.00 to throw this case?”
Witness: No response.
Lawyer: Were you given money to throw this case?
Witness. Again, no response.
Judge: Please answer the question.
Witness: Oh. I thought he was talking to you. - Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they’re a lot better than the penalty for murder. - Lawyer: Your Honor, in the first place, as they say, I am going to say it. I was going to say what you said and the reason I am going to say it, is not because you just said it. If you had not said it, I was going to say it first.
And the answer is…#2. Congrats to all who guessed correctly.
Now for this week’s Mystery Question–More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #16. As usual, three are true and one is false. Can you guess which one?
- Lawyer: What do you do for a living?
Witness: I am a lawyer.
Lawyer: You, a lawyer? Why I could put you in my pocket.
Witness: Very likely you could, but if you did, you’d have more law in your pocket than you ever had in your head. - Lawyer: Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?
Judge: I do. - Lawyer: And you swear you were not drinking the night of the accident.
Witness: Depends on what you call drinking. I remember drinking a glass of water.
Lawyer: Did you or did you not drink three beers before the accident?
Witness: Nope. I had four. - Lawyer: Who was at fault for this accident?
Witness: As near as I could tell, they hit each other at about the same time.
Okay Super Sleuths, which one did I make up? Leave your answer in the comments and I’ll enter you in a drawing for a copy of one of Elizabeth Goddard’s latest, Storm Warning.
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More Funny Lawyer Gaffes #17 is this week's Mystery Question. Guess which one I made up! You might win a copy of Storm Warning by Elizabeth Goddard! Share on X
Now for a song that should make us all smile and maybe feel a little better if we’re down.
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Comments 53
I’m going with #1.
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Hi Diana! We’ll see…
#2
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Hi Mary. We’ll see next week if it’s #2.
#2
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Oh, my, Phyllis! Another #2…we’ll see…
I think you made up #2
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Oh, my, Crystal…another #2…hmmm…we’ll see next week if I’ve fooled everyone…or…
I think #4.
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Oh, good, Linda! A different guess! Yay! We’ll see…
Hey, I recognize that picture! I’m going with number 2 this week because it made me laugh the hardest!
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Lots of the readers like #2, Priscilla…and thanks for the photo! It is beautiful.We’ll see if it’s #2 next week.
Priscilla, I’m curious. What equipment did you use to make that photograph, and what was the exposure time?
The summer before I started high school, I ground and polished my own 6″ mirror (Newtonian). Then the summer before I started my sophomore year in college, I helped a friend finish his 10″ Cassegrain telescope, then we took it from Michigan to Springfield, VT for the Stellafane Convention in 1967. Wow, that was an experience!
I love these retorts, and if I were in the court room (& I have been on occasion), I’d bust up laughing. This week I’ll go with #4. I’m glad you haven’t run out of these.
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Hi Delores! I’m so glad you like the Mystery Question. We’ll see next week if it’s #4…
My first thought when I saw that photo was who took the picture of a globular cluster. Great work, Priscilla! Perfect verse to go with it, Pat. Can you imagine being on a planet in a globular cluster? What a sight!
Ray Stevens… well, I know how I’m going to spend at least one hour today. I love his humor. Thank you.
Another tough set of crazy lawyer quotes. Seems like they’re getting harder to figure out each week.
#1. I can see another lawyer responding that way.
#2. I’m sure many judges feel that way. That remark would put the lawyers on notice.
#3. I was once on a jury for a DUI case where the defendant actually admitted on the stand to driving impaired from his drinking.
#4. Hmm. A smart aleck witness.
I think you made up #3. The witness was safe with his first answer, then blows it on the second.
2
Wow that photo was amazing, Priscilla. I’ve never seen or heard of a globular cluster before. 10 million stars, how about that? That was really something. The absolutely perfect verse to go with it, Pat.
I agree with Tim, these are getting harder each week. It’s piteous to think this goes on in courtrooms.
I was going with #2, but I think I’ll go with #4. You’ll soon have a law degree with researching all of these Pat.
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Hi Barbara! I’d never heard of it either. I’m glad y’all are having trouble figuring out which one I made up. lol We’ll see next week which one it is…
#1
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We’ll see, Linda…
Cool photo, Priscilla. Perfect verse, Pat.
Ray Stevens was such a hoot.
I am going with #4 this week.
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I thought it was an awesome photo, too, Gloria. And yes, Ray Stevens is a hoot! We’ll see next week if it’s #4.
I am guessing two. As I have said before I love Psalms.
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Yes, the Psalms are wonderful and comforting, Judy. We’ll see next week.
#1!
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Hi Joy! We’ll see next week if it’s #1.
I am guessing #1 this week.
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Answers are all over the place this week, Carolyn…we’ll see next week if it’s #1.
I like #2.
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Hi Paula! We’ll see next week…
I’ll go with #1.
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Number 1 is popular, Kelly. We’ll see…
Three?
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Maybe…Barbie D. Maybe…
I am going with number #3.
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We’ll see next week if it’s #3, Sharon.
#2 this week
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We’ll see, Gail…
I don’t think I’ve been right yet, but I’ll guess #2.
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Maybe this time, Megan…we’ll see next Tuesday.
I’ll go with #2! I posted the tweet as well
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Thank you, Shelia! I really appreciate it. We’ll see next week if it’s #2.
#3
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We’ll see, Patricia!
Great photo Priscilla!
#3
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Hi Mary G. It is great photo. We’ll see next week if it’s #3.
Going to check out Edge of Trust right now! Thanks for letting me know it’s on sale. =0
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Thanks, Melissa!
That picture and the explanation of what it is are amazing. Priscilla did a great job. It proves the truth of the verse.
Ray Stevens has been a favorite for years, and this one is right up near the top of my favorites.
I’m choosing #3 because I think that would have been a smart lawyer. The witness is the one who made a major gaffe.
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I agree with you about Priscilla, Edward! Good to ‘see’ you here! We’ll see next week if it’s #3…and Ray Stevens has been a favorite of mine for a long time.
#1
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We’ll see, Caryl!